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bekkielynn
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Name: Rebekah
Interests: My husband, My adorable little munchkins, my kitties, my puppy Lucille, being a foster mom, scrapbooking memories, reading historical fiction, quilting, watching reality television, MOPS, church, singing and playing the piano, parks, Barnes N' Nobles, Starbucks frappecinos, the library, keeping up with friends, sewing and turning my house into a home
Expertise: Who REALLY has a experitise?.....I am not an expert at anything. But, I will tell you that I am passionate about learning who my God is, drawing my relationship closer to Him, leading other people in worship and teaching them how to worship the Lord, and empowering people to do things they ordinarily think they can not do.....like sing in a choir or sing a solo. That shows how great God is and how He gives power in our weakness.....it is so great!
Occupation: Stay at home mom
Message: message me
Member Since:
4/28/2004
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| Please check out my blog HERE to enter this fabulous giveaway!!!!!!!!!
This is to whet your appetite:
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| For a few reasons, I have done what I never thought I would do. I am moving my blog to blogspot. As much loyalty as I had to xanga, it has gotten to where I can not do what I really want to do on this blog, where I can on blogspot.
#1 I hate all the off color and sexually promiscuous photos on the xanga main page and even as part of the advertisements on my own page.....because I did not want to pay to go premium. That is not right and I don't like it.
#2 I have entered into a new phase of my life....a new beginning if you will. I am going to celebrate that with a change in how, why, how much and where I blog!
#3 I can not organize posts on here like I can on blogspot. I plan on changing my blogging from "this is what I did today" to a number of subjects that really interest me!
#4 I honestly think xanga is on it's way down and I want to be established some place else when it dies!
I am not shutting this blog down. I can't do that. I just can't. It's been too long and holds too many memories. I am not sure how, but I want to see if somehow I can save this to a file to keep for reference-sake. I still also planning on reading my sub-list on here to keep up with my xanga friends!
I hope you choose to follow me over there! I am still learning the ins and outs of blogspot-land (doesn't quite roll off the tongue the same way. Haha!) But, I am sure I will figure it out.
So here goes......
www.bekkielynn.blogspot.com
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| Today I am very thankful for a nerosurgeon nurse I can call and talk to whenever I need to who doesn't make me feel stupid and listens to my concerns.....and then alleviates them :)
On Sunday we woke up to a very sad sight. Trenton's shunt site began swelling again to about twice it's size. It basically looks like a balloon on the side of his head. I checked all the signs of shunt malfunction: could his eyes move up? Is he crying uncontrollably? Can I arrouse him? Does he have a fever? Is his soft spot bulging? Does he appear to be in pain? Is he acting normal? Is he vomiting?
All of these questions came back negative, however it was still disturbing that it was a weekend and he was having shunt swelling again. NOt good.
Bright MOnday morning, I called nuerosurgery and it was almost the evening before I talked to someone. She told me that they could get me an appointment on Wednesday and that if he was not acting sick, I should just stay home. Those 3 days were so hard (from Sunday to Wednesday). We wondered together about 10 times if we should take him to the ER. He vomitted twice in that time. Is that normal baby vomit or is it shunt malfunction?
Finally Wednesday came and after the longest appointment of all time, I came away with the knoweldge that this type of swelling can be considered NORMAL because of the thinness of baby's skulls and the tiny hole that the cathetar feeds through. Any type of leakage at all can look very bad.
I was nearly in tears when I told the nurse (who works exclusively with this doctor), that I just don't know how to deal with these questions. "Is my child OK, or is it shunt malfunction? Is this normal baby behavior or malfunction?" Shunt malfunction is VERY serious. It would require immediate emergency surgery and ultimately could result in death. I don't want to fool around with it. At the same time, I want wisdom and don't want to be constantly worried.
Her words were: "Welcome to life as a parent with a child with a shunt." It was not comforting, but at the same time, it is true. I am in a period of learning about how things work, what malfunction is like and how to diligent without being absolutely paranoid every minute of every day. Honestly, every single morning the first thing I do is go to his bed, feel that he is breathing, and feel his soft spot and shunt site to see if there is any change. Then I try to rouse him to make sure he can be woken up. It feels wrong that a parent has to live like that.
In the evenings, I keep him near me. I try not to let him just sit in his swing because I want to be sure he is OK:
I am learning important lessons on TRUE dependance on God and relying on Him for wisdom.
Just today in looking at Trenton, I thought his whole head looked enlarged. I quickly got the slide ruler and measured his head no less than 5 times before I called the doctor because I thought I was getting a MUCH larger number than on Wednesday. It was the same. I almost cried on the phone with her when I am apologizing for calling again and she said:
"Calm down and please do not apologize. You call me whenever you have any kind of question at all. Now take a deep breath. You can do this."
Obviously God thinks I can handle life like this or he would not have given me this special boy. Question is, do I believe it? | | |
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